Baby sign language: 10 signs to start

Pre-verbal babies have opinions. They want milk, they want to be done with the high chair, they want the orange toy not the blue one. Without words, they communicate through crying, grunting, pointing, and increasingly elaborate frustration. Baby sign language gives them another option: hand gestures that mean specific things.

It works. Here's how.

What baby sign language actually is

Baby sign language is a simplified subset of American Sign Language (ASL) — the formal sign language used in the deaf community. The signs aren't different from ASL. They're just the high-utility ones for daily life: eat, drink, more, done, sleep.

You're not teaching baby a separate language. You're teaching them 10 to 30 useful ASL signs they can use until their mouth catches up to their brain.

This matters because: some marketing brands (the original "Baby Sign Language" trademarked program from the 2000s) used modified or made-up signs that aren't real ASL. Stick to real ASL signs. They're more useful long-term and respect the deaf community whose language you're borrowing from.

What the research actually shows

You may have heard claims that baby signing boosts IQ, accelerates language development, or makes babies smarter. Those claims came from one heavily-marketed study in the early 2000s that hasn't replicated.

The current evidence-based summary, from multiple meta-analyses of baby sign research:

• Sign language reduces communication-frustration tantrums. This is the well-supported finding. Babies who can sign "more" or "all done" tantrum less.
• No proven IQ or cognitive boost. Babies who sign don't develop better vocabularies or smarter brains than non-signing peers.
• No delay in speech. The myth that signing delays talking is also false. Signing babies talk at the same age as non-signers, sometimes earlier (because they're already practicing the gesture-to-meaning link).
• Improved parent-child connection. Anecdotally and in qualitative research, parents who use baby signs report feeling more attuned to their baby's preferences.

So: sign for the practical benefit (less frustration) and the connection benefit (better communication), not for IQ.

When to start

The optimal window is 6 to 8 months. By 6 months most babies have the fine motor control to make simplified versions of signs, and they're starting to understand basic words.

You can start earlier (4 to 5 months) but baby won't sign back until 7 to 9 months on average. Starting earlier just means more weeks of repetition before you see results.

Don't wait past 9 months. By then verbal language is starting to emerge, and signing has less of a window to be the dominant communication mode. It still helps, just less.

The 10 signs to start (in order)

Tier 1: Start with these 3

1. Milk — Open and close your fist like milking a cow. This is the highest-utility sign for breastfed and formula-fed babies because they need it constantly.

2. More — Bring your fingertips of both hands together, tap them in front of you. Easy fine motor, very useful at meals.

3. All done / finished — Both hands flat, palms toward you, twist outward. Tells you baby is done eating, done playing, done with the high chair.

Tier 2: Add these after the first 3 are working

4. Eat — Fingertips together, tap your mouth. Useful for distinguishing "eat" from "milk."

5. Water / drink — Make a "W" with your fingers, tap your chin. Or for "drink": cup your hand to your mouth like sipping.

6. Help — Closed fist on a flat palm, lift both up together. The one that ends the most tantrums.

Tier 3: Round out the basics

7. Sleep — Open hand in front of your face, close as it moves down your face. Useful for tired cues.

8. Mom / Dad — Thumb to chin (mom) or thumb to forehead (dad) with hand open. Identifying caregivers.

9. Please — Flat hand circling on your chest. Politeness training.

10. Thank you — Fingertips to chin, move outward. Politeness training.

How to teach a sign

The teaching method is repetition + context. You're not running flashcards. You're embedding the sign into daily life.

1. Pick one sign to start. Most pediatric SLPs recommend "milk."
2. Make the sign every time you say the word. Right before nursing or bottle: say "milk" and make the sign at the same time.
3. Hold baby's attention while you sign. They need to see it. Get in their line of sight.
4. Repeat for 2 to 4 weeks before expecting return. Most babies need 50 to 100 exposures before they sign back.
5. Celebrate the first attempt warmly. Baby's first "milk" sign will look nothing like yours. Maybe they squeeze both hands once. Treat it like a touchdown. They'll do it again.
6. Add the next sign once the first is consistent. Don't introduce 10 at once. One at a time, until baby is using it spontaneously, then add the next.

Common mistakes

• Trying 10 signs at once. Pick one. Master it. Then add.
• Only signing in isolation. Always speak the word AND sign at the same time. They reinforce each other.
• Expecting return in a week. Most babies need 4 to 8 weeks of consistent exposure before they sign back. Patience.
• Stopping when baby starts talking. Keep signing into 18 to 24 months. Signs help during tantrums and emotional moments even after speech is developing.
• Forcing baby's hands into the sign. Don't physically manipulate baby's hands. Model, repeat, wait.
• Confusing baby with made-up signs. If grandma wants to sign with baby, share the same ASL signs you're using.

What about Spanish or other languages?

Sign with the same hand gestures regardless of which spoken language you use. ASL is its own language; the gesture isn't tied to English. You can say "leche" or "milk" — make the milk sign for both. Some bilingual families find this particularly useful because the consistent sign anchors the meaning across two spoken languages.

Will signing delay speech?

No. The opposite, actually. The current research consensus is that early signing slightly accelerates verbal language development in some children, and at minimum has no negative effect on speech.

The mechanism: signing teaches the link between "gesture/symbol" and "meaning/want." That link is the same one underlying spoken language. Once baby has the link, the transition to using words instead of (or alongside) signs is fast.

Most signing babies start speaking the words alongside their signs between 12 and 18 months. The signs gradually fade as words take over.

When to drop signs

By 24 months, most kids have enough verbal vocabulary that signs become redundant. They naturally stop using them in favor of words. You don't need to actively drop the signs — just stop modeling them as much, and keep talking. The kid will follow.

Some families keep certain signs longer (like "please," "thank you," "more") because they're useful even when verbal. That's fine.

What if my baby isn't signing back at 10 months?

Most babies who get consistent exposure sign by 8 to 10 months. If yours hasn't by 10 months, consider:

• Are you signing every time you say the word? Or only sometimes?
• Is baby seeing the sign clearly? You need to be in their line of sight.
• Is the sign being used in context? "Milk" right before nursing, not in isolation.
• Are you using just one sign or 5 to 10 at once? Reduce to 1 to 2.

If your baby isn't signing AND isn't babbling or pointing by 12 months, mention it at the next pediatrician visit. Most often it's just temperament, but it's worth a quick conversation.